Friendly alien waving

DOWN 

HELLO

THERE

created by EXTRATERRESTRIALS

powered by SQUARESPACE

Blue glowing Earth

GREETINGS, EARTHLINGS!

What does a highly advanced civilization have to do to get noticed around here?

Greetings, fellow galactic wanderers! We come to you with a tale of intrigue and amusement from your peculiar little planet, Earth. You see, we've been observing your bizarre fascination with bits of paper and chunks of metal that you call "money." It's quite the spectacle!

But let us level with you, dear Earthlings. Your human money is a source of endless entertainment for us, but we can't help but chuckle at the chaos it breeds. Your currencies are at the mercy of strange creatures we've dubbed "weirdos" - individuals who seem to think they can control the value of your paper and metal trinkets with the flick of a wrist.

Now, we understand the appeal of human money - it's shiny, it's colorful, and it makes for excellent conversation starters at interstellar parties. But trust us when we say there's a better way! Enter: SPACE MONEY. Our currency is not subject to the whims of weirdos or the fluctuations of your Earthly economies. It's stable, it's fair, and it comes with a side of cosmic pizzazz.

So, dear humans, why not give SPACE MONEY a spin? It's the intergalactic upgrade your financial system desperately needs. Say goodbye to the days of economic uncertainty and hello to a universe where currency is as reliable as a star in the night sky. Embrace the wackiness of SPACE MONEY and let's make the cosmos a little bit weirder - in the best way possible!

TICKER COMING SOON

FAQs

We understand enough about your fragile human brains to know that you probably have questions about the sudden appearance of a race of technologically superior space beings on your intergalactic doorstep. Our Human Affairs Officer has prepared some answers below.

  • We originate from the quirky Sagittarius Dwarf Irregular Galaxy, where cosmic oddities abound and the stars have a penchant for playing cosmic pranks. It's a galaxy where the rules of physics sometimes take a coffee break and where the inhabitants are as diverse as the alien flora and fauna. So hold onto your hats, Earthlings, because our galaxy's space money is poised to inject a healthy dose of intergalactic charm into your everyday transactions!

  • Allow me to enlighten you as to why we, the infinitely superior beings of the universe, are so graciously friendly towards your kind. You see, it's not because you're too stupid to be mean—though, let's be real, sometimes the bar is set pretty low. No, it's because we find your endearing attempts at existence utterly charming. I mean, who has the time to be mean when you're all just bumbling around, trying to figure out how not to trip over your own feet? So rest assured, dear humans, our friendliness is not born out of pity, but rather from the sheer entertainment value you provide us with. Keep up the good work, and maybe one day you'll graduate to the "slightly less clueless" category in the eyes of the cosmos!

  • NO! We breathe cow farts actually. Ah, the delicate art of cow fart extraction! You see, we utilize our advanced laser technology to carefully siphon off those precious methane emissions from our bovine friends for our breathing pleasure. However, every now and then, a cow decides to throw a little shimmy into the mix and wiggles itself right out of the extraction process. And let me tell you, when that happens, it's not just the cow who suffers. Those lasers have a mind of their own, and they tend to wreak havoc on anything and everything in their path. So, if you ever stumble upon a planet with some suspiciously crispy pastures and a shortage of cows, you'll know who's to blame!

  • You have those women too, huh?

  • About 75%, which is as much DNA as you share with a chicken. This makes you poor test subjects, so no worries there!

  • Earth is our favorite planet to visit because of how quaint it is. Similar to how humans from big cities like to visit a small town for the simpler environment but then are glad to get back to the city.

  • Which one?

  • Our understanding of time is very different from yours. Let’s just say roughly about a hundred times longer than your civilization has existed.

  • All of them. Literally all of them. It just sounds like gibberish because we have small mouths and can’t annunciate well.

  • Memes!

  • They’re both so cute! Nothing beats Ooflas, our own little companions, though. We had to leave them at home with a friend.

  • We understand not all humans have the time or access to travel, but honestly, every inch of your planet has something to brag about!

  • A little mix of Gumby and Slenderman

  • I’m Dave, your friendly neighborhood Alien representative

  • Please don’t scream or run away! No one likes being greeted that way. Just say “howdy,” or however else you’d greet a normal human friend.

  • Not humans, if that’s what you’re wondering.

  • Technically, you could. However, because of temporal anomalies as you approach the speed of light, by the time you returned to Earth, everyone you know and love would no longer be alive.

  • Astral Paddle is the cosmos’ fastest-growing sport. We’d love to show you how it’s played.

  • It has taken hundreds of years to get your attention! Now that we have it, we want to make our efforts worthwhile. So, we’ll be around awhile.

  • Because we can change forms, sometimes we have tentacles, sometimes we don’t, whatever works best for the situation.

  • Sigh. You really need to stop asking.